


Three times it was not an April fools prank (+the one time it was)

by The_girl_who_lives



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: April Fools Day, F/M, I still suck at summaries, M/M, Oblivious Ron Weasley, One Shot, and gay draco, fluffy fluff, oh and bisexual harry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-01
Updated: 2020-04-01
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:27:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,230
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23425495
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_girl_who_lives/pseuds/The_girl_who_lives
Summary: The title really is self-explanatory. Poor Ron.
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, Luna Lovegood/George Weasley, Neville Longbottom/Ginny Weasley, Pansy Parkinson/Ron Weasley
Kudos: 57





	Three times it was not an April fools prank (+the one time it was)

**Author's Note:**

> This is based on a prompt given by my brother who asked me to use 'the Supremely Alive Barfers' as an alternate to the term Death Eaters. And today being April 1st, the story became what it is.

**1.**

“Umm, mate, I need to talk about something with you”, Harry said, shuffling his feet. Ron, who was pouring over his potions essay that Hermione was forcing him to complete, looked up. “I’m going with Malfoy this weekend to Hogsmeade.” “You’re what?”, Ron exclaimed. Harry looked at the tomato red face of his best friend and placated him, “Not as a date of course, but he and I are friends and both of us have some business at Scrivenshaft's.”

Ron’s rapidly reddening face cooled down. “Oh I know what this is, you can’t pull one over me Harry.” Harry looked confused. “What am I pulling exactly?”. Ron smiled, “You can’t be serious, mate! With Fred and George as brothers, do you think I would not know? Granted it’s a muggle tradition but I know all about April Fools Day.” Harry looked incredulous, “I’m not joking, Merlin. I’m serious. I cannot believe your denial is so strong that Malfoy being my friend seems like a prank to you.” Ron just cackled, “Good one mate but you can’t fool me. Now shoo before Hermione explodes on me for not finishing this essay on Pain Reducing potions.”

Harry walks away, cringing internally at the mess that would be created if Ron saw Malfoy joining him in Hogsmeade. Well, Harry gave Ron a fair warning so not his problem.

Hogsmeade weekend approached and Harry found Malfoy waiting for him by the carriages. “Ready to go, Potter?”, he asked as a greeting, his pureblood drawl prominent. “Good morning to you too Malfoy. Let’s go.”, replied Harry.

As the carriages began to move, Harry glimpsed at a gaping Ron who was running towards him. Harry gave him a cheerful wave and pointed towards Malfoy. Ron halted and looked at them with a dumbfounded expression. Harry smirked that signature Malfoy smirk and closed the curtains.

**2.**

Harry looked at Ron, who was completely absorbed in the chess game they were playing. He decided to do it once and quickly, like ripping off a band-aid. “DracoandIaredating.”, he said in one breath. “Say that again mate, and slowly this time please.”, Ron said. Harry gulped and said “Draco is my boyfriend.” Ron just erupted into peals of laughter. “This is just like last year when you said he was your friend. Granted you went to Hogsmeade but dating, no way. I won’t be fooled this time. Besides, you aren’t even gay.” Harry looked at his friend and said,”You’re right, I’m not gay, I’m bi. Draco is the one who’s gay. What I had with your sister was real you know.” “Malfoy is a poofter! I can’t believe this, this is gold.”, Ron dissolved in a fresh round of giggling. Harry just shook his head. “Ugh Ron, find me when you do believe it. I can’t even talk to you right now if you can’t take me seriously. I’m going to meet Draco at Diagon Alley. Owl me when you come to your senses.”

Ron sat there, confused. This was not how he expected the prank to go. Any moment now Harry was going to jump from behind the sofa and yell “Boo!” Huh, Ron should probably go check up on Harry, apologise (he still didn’t know what he did wrong) and then they could go for ice cream.

When Ron reached Florean’s he was met by a disturbing sight. Harry and  _ Malfoy _ were smiling at each other like lovesick fools and feeding each other ice cream. Ugh. Ron yelled, “Harry, I didn’t think you were actually serious! You mean, you and...the ferret, are really dating?”. “Yes Ron that is what I told you. And for your information, Draco is my Ferret.”

The last thing Ron saw before fainting was Malfoy smacking Harry on the arm and Harry grinning while kissing away the scowl on Malfoy’s face. Dear Merlin, save us all.

**3.**

“Everyone, Draco and I are engaged.”, Harry announced at the Burrow. He was instantly bombarded with hugs and congratulations from everyone. Well, everyone except Ron. He stuttered, “Engaged to marry?”. “Yes Weasel. What other meaning of engaged did your tiny brain com-pre-hend?”, sneered Malfoy. “But you just started dating!! You don’t actually mean this, do you? This is another one of your April fools prank Harry.”, Ron accused. Harry sighed. “I never played an April fools prank on you. The last two times you thought that, the things I told you were genuinely true.”

Ron paled. “So you are going to become a Malfoy.” Harry and Draco shared a soft smile. “No, both of us are going to become Potter-Malfoy.”. Molly and Hermione practically melted upon hearing this. Ginny squealed, ‘Oh my Merlin, you two are like the cutest thing ever.”. Draco smirked, “We know, Weaselette, we know.”

Ron suddenly shouted, “But he is a Death Eater, Harry!”. Everyone looked at Ron with ill-concealed fury and Harry looked ready to hex his balls off. Malfoy put a soothing arm on Harry’s arm. “I have changed Ronald. I am the farthest thing from a Death Eater. I am a Supremely Alive Barfer.” Ron looked at Malfoy and blinked. Did he just make a dad joke? Anyone who made a dad joke and remained unembarrassed by it was okay in Ron’s book, Death Eater or not. “Well said your Supreme Belchiness. No seriously, welcome to the family Draco.”, Ron replied.

Then he noticed the ring on Malfoy’s finger and gave a  _ very manly _ squeal. As everyone crowded to coo at Draco, Harry gave him a partly disgusted and partly amused smile. Malfoy producing terrible dad jokes to exploit Ron’s penchant for them was a prime specimen of Slytherin cunning.

**+1.**

Harry flooed into ron’s apartment, looking like hell. “Draco was ill so we went to a Healer. Turns out Draco is pregnant! I’m going to be a father Ron.”

Ron intelligently croaked, “What?” “I don’t have time for your acting-like-a-fish routine Ron, say something.” “Harry, mate, you do know that it’s April 1st today?”. “Yes I am aware of that Ron. Is that going to be a problem?” “No I learnt my lesson the last three times’’, Ron grinned, “I’m so happy for you two! Just one question, can wizards even get pregnant?” Harry gave Ron a Hermione look, “Of course they can! We have magic.”, wiggling his eyebrows, Harry stepped into the Floo and went to St.Mungo’s.

Ron apparated to Malfoy Manor and started preparing for a surprise party for the expecting parents. He wanted to redeem himself for the last three years. He decorated the Manor, baked a cake, begged Hermione to bring some muggle baby shower games and spent hours in the kitchen, toiling like a house-elf over dinner. He invited their usual gang: Hermione-Blaise, Luna-George, Ginny-Neville and Pansy, his girlfriend.

Everyone enjoyed the party and Draco was so surprised that Ron could see tears in his eyes. After the party he found Draco buried into Harry, his shoulder shaking violently. “What happened to him? Was something wrong with the party?” At this Harry started guffawing and Draco turned to face Ron. In his eyes were tears, not of sadness but of mirth. “Ron”, Harry started speaking slowly, “there is one more thing we need to tell you. Draco isn’t really pregnant Ron. Happy April Fools! But thank you for the party.”

For the second time in four years Ron fainted again.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> I honestly had a lot of fun writing this. And my brother contributed a lot to the storyline (I'm writing this at gunpoint save me). Happy April Fools!


End file.
